The Latest

Taylor Swift recently dropped her newest single, "Shake it Off," and I must say that I'm a fan.  Anytime someone breaks it down in a tutu, I  am transported back to the days where I was "that girl" in dance class.  The song "Shake it Off" speaks to me as well, especially as a solo business owner.  People are always going to hate. Take it from Taylor and shake those people off.

Without further delay, my life as a solo practitioner as told by T-Swift:


When I announced that I was going to open my own practice:



When older lawyers second guess my abilities because of my age:


Whenever I try to hook up new office technology:

Trying to build a client base:

Attempting to understand my phone system:

When client's don't pay on time:



The first time a check came in:

The fact that I can work from my home office whenever I want:


Thank you, Taylor Swift, for once again expressing my feelings to a T.  As in T-Swift.


In the past, clients don't always agree with me when I tell them they need a non-disclosure agreement, or an NDA.  This video explains, in 2 short minutes, two big benefits of NDAs for any business.


After a month hiatus, I can finally announce the exciting updates in my life.

I've moved back from NYC after my wonderful experience at the music corporation.  I've had time to settle my brain, look into my heart, and decide what I really want in life.

I am thrilled to say that as of July 29, 2014, I have officially opened my own law practice.

I specialize in small businesses, media law, and all things digital. It's been a crazy ride so far, but I am ecstatic to be able to share this new journey with all of my readers.

Love,
The World's Newest #Girlboss


Tuesdays are tough. 

Mondays get a bad rap, but really, Tuesdays are the worst. The shiny "I did X this weekend!" has worn off, you've already seen the cute guy in your office, and you piled up a bunch of crap yesterday that you just couldn't deal with because it was Monday.  And the weekend is SO. FAR. AWAY.

Most Tuesdays, we JUST CAN'T.

In honor of 20-something girls everywhere, I've curated a special selection of the finest "I JUST CAN'T" wear for those days when your shirt needs to do the talking.  Click through to purchase.  At least by wearing these, you can warn your room mates before you start doing the ugly cry.
 

 
For the Crazy Cat Ladies among us.  Sometimes, you just need some space.
 
 
Every girl's imaginary BFF.  And a reminder that no matter how bad life gets, at least you  didn't puke at Madonna's house
 
Your wordless response to "Oh my gosh, there is this cool new bar opening/ warehouse party/ open bar!  LETS GO!!"
 
Because your girlfriends want to GO TO THE GYM AND GET SO SKINNAYYY after work.
 
 
Who doesn't like pugs?  Look in the mirror, and remind yourself that you didn't choose the Pug Life, the Pug Life chose you.
 
Drinking wine is great. Drinking wine without pants on is heaven.
 
 
Exhausted is the new sexy.
 
 

 


This woman is the definition of a BAMF. Not only is she just about the cutest thing EVER, but at 101 years young she is the oldest walker in the 30-kilometer "Weekend to End Women's Cancer" weekend event every year, raising $20,000, but she threw a seriously stylish first pitch to Toronto Blue Jays catcher Josh Thole. 

Her joy and zest for life radiates from her every pore.  Some advice from this sassy little lady?  She says:

"Whatever I decide to do, it can be done with the right (frame) of mind."

Take that and make it your mantra.  I'll be over in my corner dying over her cuteness.
After hauling myself all over Manhattan for the past month an a half, I have discovered the importance of quality, comfortable flats.  However, the small size of my budget doesn't allow for TOO much of a splurge on shoes.  When you have wide, huge, monster feet like I do, finding cute and comfortable shoes can be tricky. I've rounded up five of my favorite spring flats for this spring to share-- hopefully keeping everyone blister-free and curing any instances of "cranky feet hurt syndrome!"



Tory Burch ballet flat
shopbop.com


The classic.  Yes, it is expensive, and yes, it is a little uncomfortable at first, but you can get away with ANYTHING in these shoes.  Perfect for everything from the law firm office to a night spent at the wine bar with girlfriends, these go with literally EVERYTHING.  I had my last pair for FOUR YEARS, and finally bought a new one last week.  The black is classic, but I am lusting after the orange.  Go up a size if you have wide feet like I do.  ShopBop has regular sales, and Toryburch.com will have 25% off once every season or so.  That brings them down to around $168-- totally worth it for four years of adorable footwear. 


Kenneth Cole flat shoes
kennethcole.com


Cheetah is a neutral.  It goes with most colors, and adds a bit of sassiness to any outfit.  I usually break out the cheetah when I am feeling too "grandma--" I mean there are only so many things you can wear as a lawyer.  Cheetah smoking flats contribute a certain masculine sexiness to fitted black pants that a regular flat just won't bring. 
 
 

zara.com

I personally haven't tried these, but my lovely sister-from-another-mister, Holland, has last summer's version-- and she loves them.  The ankle strap and metallic gold around the bottom adds a bit of edginess that you won't get from a plain flat.  Plus, the ease of finding a Zara in NYC makes these an attractive option for those of us who walk by about 3 on our way home every day.

 

Mossimo flat shoes
target.com


These shoes are on my wishlist, so NO I can't attest to their comfort, but LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!  I'm an advocate for the Mossimo pointy shoe-- every pair I have bought has been great.  I've got a pair on now that I've had for about 6 years-- no joke.  I actually might haul my butt up to East Harlem tonight to get these-- this is how much I think I need them.  They are actually color blocked-- see?
 
They also feature an adorable zipper on the back, so you don't have to strap yourself in every morning.  Perfect with a pair of fitted pants or a cute skirt.
 
  
Nine West Histericks Pointy Toe Flats
ninewest.com

Last but not least, I LOVE these flats.  The come in SO many colorsI have them in nude, but plan on getting another color soon.  Wait until they go on sale again, and you can get them for around $49.  Very comfortable, and actually fits the little bunion on my small toe (GROSSS ok whatever, I know-- but that's what I get for dancing for so long.  Deal with it.  You'll get one sooner or later).  Out of all of my pointy shoes, these are probably the most comfortable in the toe region. 
 
 
I'm always up for recommendations for flats-- anyone want to add their favorites?
 
 
 



Everyone has these days.
 

This article.  If you have two X chromosomes, take the time to read it.  It's important.

Just in case: The Confidence Gap via the Atlantic Magazine

One of my smartest and prettiest girlfriends sent it to me this morning, and we had a frank discussion about the way it made us feel.  Reading it brought up a variety of emotions: feeling vindicated, disappointed, hopeful, bleak, and confused, yet in the company of many amazing women trying to manage the same thoughts and feelings I am. 

I really identify with almost all of the issues this article talks about-- feeling "lucky" and somewhat guilty instead of soaking in the benefits of my hard work; struggling with self-worth, fighting to master the "meek" aspects of my body language to "take up more space" and seem more confident when I'm really shaking in my boots on the inside. I fight to be seen as more intimidating and less intimidating at the same time.  I constantly wonder if I sound "bitchy" when telling people what to do or when asking serious questions.  And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm a girl.

I think it is important to recognize that there are inherent differences between the construction of men and women's brains.  This does, in fact, have an impact on the way we think and handle situations.  It doesn't mean that one is better than the other; it just means that given a task, men and women are likely to figure out different ways of approaching it.  This isn't a bad thing!


What IS a bad thing is women letting our worries and insecurities get in the way.  Letting them shake us.  And what is even worse? When we, as women, constantly tear other strong women down because they are confident, career driven, decisive, or assertive.  When women display these traits, we label them as bitches.  They eat alone or in their offices.  When they can't find a compatible mate, other women say, "tsk tsk, maybe she shouldn't have been such a bitch around the office." Seeing the fate of these other women makes us fear our own shame. We don't want to be "that woman."  "That woman" is alone, she is an island.  Yeah, maybe she gets the corner office and the title, but no one else likes her.

Baby Steps to Confidence


There are two ways we need to work on our confidence issues as a gender.  First, we need to STOP labeling other women because of their career choices.  Recognize that an assertive woman is a confident woman.  And recognize that she is, in the long run, probably helping your paycheck reach the same level of a man's. 

Second, we need to boost our own confidence.  Do things that make us believe in ourselves.  Stop judging and overanalyzing, and start doing.  The article says that
"The natural result of low confidence is inaction.  When women hesitate because we aren't sure, we hold ourselves back." 

THIS IS SO TRUE! 

Think about a guy your age in your office.  I bet he takes risks that you don't-- walking into superior's offices to pitch wild ideas, asking for "more" of something, be it a title, office, salary, or vacation days, or even approaching partners to ask for a cup of coffee and a chat.  I myself would be MORTIFIED to ask an executive for coffee or a meeting, but I know lots of guys who would do it.  What am I scared of?  The rejection.  Even if it was just me and the executive, I would be scared they would continuously judge me for the rest of my days.  But WHY should I care?!  The are one person-- and do you honestly think they would say no?

I'm definitely a more confident person than I was years ago.  I used to really struggle with being assertive.  I still struggle.  That is something that law school pushed me towards: feeling much more confident and self assured.  It's the one thing I will never regret.  But even still, I struggle some days.  On those days, I've adapted a "fake-it-til-you-make-it" mentality-- if you ACT like you know what you're doing, people will believe you.  I've actually picked this up from a lot of my guy friends.  They just DO it, and don't freak themselves out by overanalyzing. 

Photo of Miss Maya Van Wagenen,
aka the girl who grew her own confidence
and now has a book and movie deal.
But sometimes it is hard to even get to a point where you can "fake it."  Sometimes, you feel so self conscious that you can't breathe.  And I get that, too. I recently saw a segment on the Today Show where a shy middle school girl followed every line from a 50's book on popularity.  I'm talking EVERYTHING.  She stuck out like a sore thumb because of her dress, her gloves, her hair-- but she became so self confident in the process.  And she said something that stuck with me.  She noted that in the beginning, she was scared.  So she started incorporating one tiny thing into her life every day: first her socks, then her girdle, (!!!) then her shoes, etc etc.  And you know what?  Conquering each of those seemingly insignificant milestones made her more and more self assured. Every hurdle she mastered trained her mind to jump over bigger and bigger challenges.  And now? The girl is on the Today Show and has a book deal AND a movie deal. GET. IT. GIRL.

This is the way I've built confidence in my own life: tackling seemingly stupid small things that frighten me. For example, I am a phone-o-phobic.  I hate them.  I hate calling in orders, I hate answering them, I even hate calling friends. I would literally let the phone go to voicemail so I could check it instead of answering. Phones make me nervous because I don't have time to think! I much prefer texting and emailing. However, being a professional means-- gasp-- using a phone.  Being an assistant means using the phone a LOT, and having 12 DIFFERENT LINES at your disposal. 

So what did I do to cure myself?

I am NOT Carly Rae Jepson; please do NOT
call me maybe! Just text me!
I started small.  One night, I called in an order instead of using Seamless.  I called another secretary to make a meeting instead of emailing her.  I called tech support instead of trying to have them remotely connect to my desktop.  And you know what?  I feel a lot more confident about my ability to use the phone.  I've made and received calls from superiors and even executives.  And I haven't been humiliated ONCE.  Sure, I screwed up a conference call one time-- but after a few tries, I figured it out and moved on.  No one died. 

I've also used this method on the Subway.  I pick a different route every few days and go to a new
part of town.  Not only do I get to "master" a new skill, but I get to see all the neighborhoods of New York in the process.  It feels pretty rockin to know where you're going when no one else does.



Preach.
I don't know if this will work for you, but it has worked for me so far. So if you're struggling, give it a try.

Another thing:  moving to another city is a huge confidence booster; I've been able to do it a few times.  Not everyone can just uproot themselves and move across the country/ up the coast/ down south/ etc.  But if you get the chance, sometimes it works wonders to move to a new place where all you have is yourself.  I recently told one of my girlfriends here in NYC that I have noticed a HUGE change in her since she moved here, and I couldn't even really express how proud I was.  It was one of those moments where you internally beam, "That's MY FRIEND!!"

The bottom line is this: we have a long way to go, gals.  But hang in there, keep believing in yourself, and keep taking risks.  Don't get scared.  Support the women around you. 

And keep telling yourself how truly awesome you are.

I love this quote by Kaci Diane.  I think there is something big in loving yourself through all the struggles, your work, and your flaws.  Never forget who you are, where you've been, and how hard you fought to get where you are today.
 
 
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